To Have And Not To Hold!

wedEver wondered about marraige vows ,,well in particular the part that says to have and to hold?

That says to me that having and holding are two diff erent things.In other words it is very possible to have and not hold!


Its another saturday and yet another wedding  will go down, beautiful ceremony,lovely couple.diamond rings a marriage certificate..They will have i…..t but will they hold it?



In the 50s, 60s and the 70s, the sanctity of the institution of marriage had not been corrupted; . If a couple got married then, it was for better, for worse, till death did them part. Marriage was a worthwhile venture then, especially in Nigeria and. Africa as a whole

Divorce or the dissolution of marriage, according to the  Wikipedia , the on-line dictionary, is the final termination of a marital union, cancelling the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between the parties involved.

Many writers have come up with different reasons why Divorce  happens,”Gabriels ” reveals some of the prevalent reasons that are gradually turning up marriages in Nigeria into fun fare shows that do not last,these can be summarized thus

Lies…People are not truthful to each other before marriage

High expectations….Expecting too much from each other always ends in divorce,,no one is perfect

Poor communication…Couples fail to understand that they have to keep at open and effective communication for marriage to stay alive….

Whatever the reason,however,Divorce is painful,expensive with devastating effects on the children and consequently the society.

I saw a comedy recently, funny but had a strong message..a young lady went to sell Asoebi to her aunty for her wedding, it cost a whooping N150,000 the aunty made her promise that she will stay married at all cost,hear her” Shade this is a huge sacrifice in this present economy,some people will have to fly to and from their destinations, lodge in a hotel to attend your wedding and buy this expensive asoebi,ha that is an investment o, therefore if you know you are not ready for the long haul do not let us invest in bad business i beg you”……

we all have made  such investments at different weddings, so it should hurt us when such “investments” go bad

We all have a role to play as, mothers,sisters,uncles, aunties,and spouses.the divorce rate in Nigeria today is alarming…let us try to ensure our investments do not go bad, for our sakes, our children ,our society,our nation,and our world






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