Mum,Be Irreplaceably You,Re-Invent Yourself!
Mum (and Dad), have you looked around you lately ,closely enough to observe how much things have changed with children and parenting as with everything?
Chatting with my children daily , I realize that i need to wake up and smell the coffee ,and you should too (unless you do not mind someone else taking your place in the lives of your children, )…No? i thought as much, So lets do this together..
Professionally, the need to change and upgrade ones self to meet current trends in whatever industry in other to maintain favorable positions with competitors can not be overemphasized,how much more then with parenting
What I am saying is that it is an undeniable reality that the parenting methods adapted by our parents to raise us as kids way back though very key are no longer completely functional with today’s child, The orientation that it takes a whole village to raise a child back in the day for example belongs in the past,those days it was said that if a parent saw you misbehaving in any way, he or she will punish you appropriately in order to correct you and your biological parents would appreciate them for it, These days you better just mind your business unless you are 100% sure of the outcome!
At the airport one day i witnessed an elderly woman telling a teenage girl kindly that her skimpy dress was inappropriate, besides,”it gets very cold on the plane” she added,The girl rudely told her to mind her own business!.
My first thoughts were that the girl was travelling alone until to my surprise, I saw her mother (who obviously and gone to the ladies room )return to join her, you could tell it was her mother from the striking resemblance. so I realized if her mum saw her leave the house dressed like that and saw nothing wrong with it, then anyone would be asking for trouble by trying to say otherwise!…
Truth of the matter Mum and Dad is, if you do not reinvent yourselves,and parenting techniques,then make no mistakes, the media, the internet and basically the wrong people will take your place and bring up your children but No! that is not going to happen because now you know!.
Here are some of my ideas
No, Parenting does not come with a manual, and even if it did no two children are the same though they come from the same womb. But, there is a lot of material out there written by experienced people, mothers, Child psychologists, etc study, learn and develop your own manual for every child
I know this may sound “One Kind”. if you had a typical Nigerian mum then you know what I mean. I remember my mum used to say “I gave birth to you so i can not be afraid of you and I do not need to explain my actions just do as i say”(wink if it sounds familiar..aha there you go!) well it worked back then o,( I mean look how good I turned out, yelzk ke, he he he laughing in my native language) okay seriously, me thinks its time to change all that o, it is important to carry your children along especially when making major decisions that affect them directly,it does not mean you are afraid of them,it only shows you are older and wiser and smart enough to choose wisdom over the risk of breeding resentful,rebellious children!
3.Trust them, they are wiser than you think!
Now i had to look over my shoulder just now to be sure i am the one writing this(he,he,he laughing in my native language) i am so guilty of being over protective of my kids,so much so that i want to think for them sometimes. lets face it most of us mums are guilty…and its okay. But i am coming to that place where realize that i can not do that, i must learn to trust their judgement too, besides it is a sure way to help build their confidence and trust in themselves, even if they are wrong they will safely learn from their mistakes and be better for it.
However, trust is not built overnight, start with the little things and expand your risks as they grow .yes age counts because with growth comes maturity and maturity breeds sound judgement.
4.Understand and embrace the greater good!
So it may not seem like your child is living your dream, you want them to tend to your line of business or career and their passion lies elsewhere, embrace it, look at it this way ,in the end it is for the greater good! would you rather have then follow their heart and be damn good at it and happy or impose your dream and have them unhappy even if they become successful, see even God our creator gave us a free will not so, seek the greater good , let go, pray for them ,be supportive, believe and God will cause it to work together for good,he is the master planner!
5. In a Nutshell, re-invent yourself
when it comes to parenting, not one cap fits all,you can not stay on one side of the bridge, okay you want the truth, you may not even always have the privilege of your children meeting you halfway, somethings and more often than not you may have to go all the way to the other end to meet with your children! But guess what, you have the wisdom to then carefully bring them with you to your own end and they wont even know it or they may go willingly after-all!its all in the how, besides you will find that the changes you make will empower you, make you happier, and bring you excitement as life becomes more fascinating.That is why you need to keep reinventing yourself . I know you can, good luck!